Evil Monkey: Did you see that Christopher Priest threw his feces all over the Arthur C. Clarke Award?!? Jeff: Yes. Don’t bother me. I’m working. Evil Monkey: No, no. You have to respond. You have to blog something. Jeff: I’M WORKING, GODDAMN YOU, MONKEY! Evil Monkey: I’m not leaving until we talk about this! Jeff: […]
Jeff: What do you call someone who defends territory the size of a postage stamp? Evil Monkey: A mouse? No! A flea! Jeff: What about someone who attacks to acquire territory that size? Evil Monkey: Another mouse! No, a flea! Jeff: Maybe it looks large to them. Evil Monkey: A postage stamp is pretty important […]
Evil Monkey: I think it’s so cool there’s a new TV series with dragons! Jeff: They. Are. Not. Dragons. Like I told you, they are dinosaurs. Evil Monkey: I do think it’s sad the dragons don’t have wings. It’s poignant. Wingless dragons. Jeff: Right. Dinosaurs. DINO-SAURS, Evil. Evil Monkey: And it’s such a great premise. […]
Evil Monkey: “There will be blood“, Jeff. There will be blood. Jeff: There will be blood, Evil Monkey. There will be blood. Evil Monkey: It might not be your blood. It might not be today. It might not be tomorrow. It might be yesterday. But there will be blood. Jeff: I’m pretty sure it will […]
I’m in full-on inspiration mode on the writing book, so no time to blog today…so instead, a repost of the last Evil Monkey, and, for the first time, a question for the audience: What would you like to see Evil and alt-Jeff talk about next? You can post your reply anonymously. I don’t care.
(Like this image by Todd Vandemark? For liking it, you owe it to me to buy this.) (Leah Thomas sent me this, after I questioned whether a bear hat she’d mentioned was plush or real. The offending word I crossed out for this version.) (Jeremy Zerfoss sent in this one because he’s nutso.) Evil Monkey: […]
Evil Monkey: I’m starting a new ideology. Jeff: Based on what tenets? Evil Monkey: Everyone is evil. Everyone is a monkey. Jeff: Even aarkvarks? Evil Monkey: Even aarkvarks. Jeff: Don’t do it, dude. Ideologies are toxic. Evil Monkey: No they’re not—they’re the life’s blood of social change. Jeff: Until they go rogue. Evil Monkey: You […]
Jeff: You’ve re-read A Feast for Crows (A Song of Ice and Fire, Book 4)by George R.R. Martin, too, haven’t you? Evil Monkey: Yes. No way am I scaling the mountain that is A Dance with Dragons: A Song of Ice and Fire: Book Fivewithout reminding my brain of prior context. Jeff: What did ya […]
Evil Monkey: I hate you. Jeff: I don’t hate you. I love you. Evil Monkey: Hate me. Hate my stench. Hate my feces on the wall. Jeff: I hate the cat’s throw-up more. But I’m curious. What else do you hate? Evil Monkey: I hate the bitter inner lining of walnut shells. I hate the […]
For those of you who might have missed it, our bountiful state of Florida has in its infinite wisdom seen the ascension to power of Emperor Rick Scott. Scott is Florida’s first emperor and has already issued such decrees of intent as “regulations? what regulations” and “agencies? what agencies?” as well as “fired? you’re not […]