Are You an Agent of Chaos?! (One of You Crazy Nutbars Might Win a Grenade)

HELLO, I AM STANDING HERE IN A FUNNY HAT TO TELL YOU ABOUT HOW YOU CAN WIN A GRENADE. AND A BERET VERY MUCH UNLIKE THIS FUNNY HAT…

ARE YOU AN AGENT OF CHAOS?

– HAVE YOU EVER STRUCK A BLOW FOR ANARCHY?
(er, in a hat or not)

– DONE SOMETHING SURREAL JUST TO SEE IF THEY’D STOP YOU?
(i’ve yelled “squid” at strangers from a moving vehicle)

– CROSSED A BORDER JUST TO DIP YOUR TOE IN THE FORBIDDEN?
(i once waved my hand in Georgia while still in Florida)

– PULLED THE TRIGGER BECAUSE YOU LIKE THE FEEL OF COLD STEEL?
(flipped the “on” switch on the vacuum cleaner)

– BEEN CHASED ACROSS COUNTRIES WHILE TRYING TO REMEMBER WHO YOU ARE?
(er, so that last one is the novel “Chaos” by the hot Dutch writing couple Escober, but you get the point.)

UNDERLAND PRESS WANTS YOU TO TELL THEM ABOUT THE BIGGEST, GRANDEST, MOST INSANE THING YOU’VE EVER DONE TO SPREAD CHAOS.

WHY SHOULD YOU BOTHER? BECAUSE YOU MIGHT GET A GRENADE. HOW CAN THEY DO THAT? THEY PROBABLY CAN’T AND THERE WILL PROBABLY BE A RETRACTION IN THE MORNING, BUT IT’S STILL REALLY HILARIOUS.

AND YOU GET ALL OF THIS OTHER STUFF. OKAY, I’LL STOP SHOUTING AT YOU NOW…

…a one-of-a-kind gift pack featuring our new book “Chaos”, plus a military issue map bag containing:

one compass with sighting mirror

one copy of the U.S. Army’s Guerilla Warfare and Special Forces Ops field guide

one beret

one grenade (deactivated – you think we’re crazy?)

one pair of leather bootlaces

one camouflage T-shirt, suitable for disappearing without a trace

Send your story of complete chaos to deepeight@live.com before June 30, 2009 to enter.

Chaos
by Escober
Now Available from Underland Press
A heart-stopping psychological thriller, in English for the first time.
ISBN: 978-0-9802260-3-4 $13.95

When British soldier Alex Fisher returns home from his tour in Bosnia, he’s plagued by blackouts, recurring nightmares, and uncontrollable acts of violence. Escaping to Mexico, he sets off on a globetrotting tour in an attempt to distance himself from the demons in his head. A chance meeting with a mysterious woman introduces Fisher to a far more passionate—and far more dangerous—life. With his grip on reality slipping, Fisher’s demons return in full force, awakening a flood of suppressed memories. As he attempts to sort through his complicated and half-remembered past, Fisher discovers that the truth is harder to accept than the lies.

12 comments on “Are You an Agent of Chaos?! (One of You Crazy Nutbars Might Win a Grenade)

  1. Adam says:

    Somehow, someone I knew (who will remain nameless) snagged a roll of police-issued caution tape. Then someone else came up with the grand idea of stringing multiple lines of tape across the busiest street in my town, creating a caution-tape wall. Traffic was stopped for quite a while until one intrepid, annoyed, probably drunk man smashed through it like a team through the banner before a football game.
    Viva La Wisconsin!

  2. undeadbydawn says:

    Ok, WANT. Just seems a very nice package. The book’s interesting as well.

  3. Larry says:

    OK, I was thinking about blogging about that, but with that deranged look on your face, I’m just going to link to your post about this rather unique contest.

  4. Eddie Duff says:

    That picture reminds me of the time I visited a Czech antique shop years ago. I was so uncomfortable I probably bought a fifth of his store. :)

  5. Hellbound Heart says:

    am i an agent of chaos? i’m a teacher for christs sake, what do YOU think? hmmm, like to know how you’ll manage to get the grenade through the postal system, times being as they are…..
    agent of chaos? well…….howsabout starting next week i start giving the students at my school subliminal subversive messages via the interactive whiteboards at the front of each classroom….

    any message suggestions?

    peace and love…..

  6. “BEEN CHASED ACROSS COUNTRIES WHY TRYING TO REMEMBER WHO YOU ARE?”

    Yes, but only in an existential kind of way. Like how other people try to find themselves. You know, “Who are we, where are we going, why are these people trying to kill me?” That kind of thing.

  7. Larry says:

    The most chaos I’ve ever spread was from me breaking the chain in all those chain emails that I’ve received. Think of all the kittens, puppies, children, and the elderly that have suffered harm as a result!

  8. Diane says:

    Hmmmmmmm. I’ve got a couple here. I taught a friends’ prissy girly girls to stamp water puddles in the rain on the way to a block party. That was fun. They were so scandalized. Later in the same day I taught the neighborhood children to make mud pies and witches brew (out of dirty rainwater, bugs & weeds). Sheesh! City kids miss out on so much these days, unless they have a subversive aunty.

    And of course, way back in the 70’s, I hitchhiked from Dickinson, ND to Minneapolis, MN then to Omaha, NE and back over spring break with a fellow student (drug dealer, who knew?) and told the parents I got a ride from a friend.

    I really need this prize because I have no sense of direction while in Omaha (other places I am ok, why is that?) and I have wanted a compass & map bag since forever. The gernade would be way cool too.

  9. Where to start, there are so many…Stealing a case of quarts from a brewery, spending the night under a tree during a tornado storm while tripping, walking up Boullion Butte and down in an afternoon, replacing the little papers under the plastic keyboard protecters at work with little drawings, driving across the badlands,not on the road, in a Plymouth Duster,streaking my own house on a snowy night in December,seeing Lou Reed on 2 consecutive nights in Houston and Omaha,same seats(front row),same clothes, he kept looking at us like he ate something funny,coming home from a night on the town,turned onto the railroad tracks by mistake and just managed to exit the car before got hit like a tiddly wink by a train, I could go on and on……but need I say more? The madness never ends, but sometimes the parties do!

  10. Jacqueline says:

    Did I mention calling people, asking them to sing the Campbell’s soup jingle ?

  11. Chris says:

    1. Years ago, before anyone ever knew the term, I used to yell “Jyhad” at the top of my lungs to anyone who had wronged me in some minor way but failed to apologize. I once did this in my school cafeteria when someone bumped me in the back with their tray. The entire place went dead silent.

    2. Once, in college, I asked a friend of mine this question: “If you have sex with a hand puppet, but she’s only 15… is it considered statutory rape?”

    Now, that was funny, and we all got a laugh, but here’s the chaos part. I then proceeded to tell everyone I knew to ask him the very same question, and to tell all of their friends to do the same thing. He was being asked that question almost constantly for several days.

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