The zombie cowboy is impervious to your bellowing outrage, and starts wiggling about in order to bring its mouth and your toes in happy biting range. You draw your pistol – aye, it’s a fine morning for shootings – and fire it into the zombie’s right eye. It makes a satisfying ‘spock!’ sound and splurges […]
The cowboy narrows his eyes further still, which makes him look like he’s been squirted with lemon juice. You raise your eyebrows. He raises his, and realise he has no practice doing so, narrows his eyes again. Now that you’ve had time to study it, you realise he isn’t very good at the stare, either. […]
You whip out your pistol and fire. Nothing happens. Er. That’s not right. You peer down the barrel. Yep. Still loaded. Oh, no, wait. There’s some gunk in the hammer. Again. You whip out your other pistol and fire – bang! – and plant a bullet right in the weasel little cowboy’s head. Oh yeah, […]
You are a ninja. Booyah. You are out of milk. Bugger. In other circumstances, this wouldn’t bother you, as you’re lactose intolerant. But your overbearing uncle Retsudo is visiting, and he must have milk with his rice. You’re not sure why. You suspect it is one of those entirely arbitary whims that exists purely to […]
You are a pirate. Arrrr. You are not sure where you are. Arrrr. This is the usual state of affairs, and you’re perfectly comfortable with that. Waking up in unfamiliar alleys with a crust of dried vomit down your front and the smell if piss, probably yours, in your nose are the hallmarks of a […]
As of right now, Ecstatic Days is under ninja law. Not in a bad way, mind you. I’m not here to install an oppressive regime and take away your liberties, hell no. I come in peace. See? As a gesture of my good will, I’ve worn white so as to stand out from my surroundings […]
Thank you, Jeff, for letting me shout from your rooftop, and for the gift of the extra day. It’s been an extraordinary week and I’ve learned a lot from the discussions. Thank you to the marvelous audience for your intelligence and perspicacity. I’d also like to thank my family for patiently and resignedly putting up […]