Starting a Band

UPDATE: Apparently, we’ve already had a gig. Must be all the drugs that make it hard for me to remember. (Funniest thing about this is I believe my wife Ann, not a writer, and Liz Hand are the only ones with any musical experience.)

UPDATE #2: Okay, so now it’s apparently becoming a meme.

Seeing this Pixies documentary about their 2004 tour makes me want to start a band. A band of writers. Elizabeth Hand on bass and vocals. Jeff Ford on drums, and screaming “bullshit” to the punters. Me on lead guitar, because it’s my fantasy. Hal Duncan for lead vocals. Need another guitar, of course, and that’d be Conrad Williams. Somehow I think K.J. Bishop would also have to be in the mix–on keyboards? So many possible mixes of band mates, though…have to think about this.

If I could resurrect people, it’d be Angela Carter on vocals, Nabokov on violin, Mervyn Peake on creaking piano, Edward Whittemore on regular bass, Gogol on crazy-ass upright bass, Derek Raymond on (dark) lead guitar, and me on, er, cow bell.

There’s only one problem, of course–I have zippo musical talent.

Jeff

19 comments on “Starting a Band

  1. Nadine says:

    Tad Williams was actually in a band, before he decided that this whole writing thing was the way to go. I’m not sure what he played…

    If all else fails, I sing. *wg* I probably don’t count as a writer, though.

    Yet! The word is yet. Yes.

  2. One thing is certain: bad lyrics wouldn’t be a problem for this band. And what about The Squids or The Meerkats for a name?

  3. jeff ford says:

    Jeff: Actually, my instrument, when I was in grade school band, was the thankless T-Bone.
    I wanted to play the drums, but instead they gave me the instrument nobody wanted. I wasn’t vocalizing “Bullshit!” yet, although I was thinking it. As it turned out, I was not the next Jack Teagarten with.

  4. jeff ford says:

    That should have been “with it” at the end there, but it’s early and I’m not with it.

  5. GlenH says:

    Surely this will happen; Hal Duncan was born to be a frontman. Might I suggest “The Flea Circus” as a name?

  6. Hey–Jeff, that’s my last mention of “b.s.” Think I’ve flogged that joke for all it’s worth. T-bone, huh? Is that the triangle? I’m so musically un-inclined I don’t even know.

    Jeff

  7. GlenH says:

    Just reread your post and I seem to recall that KJ Bishop mentioned playing piano in a brothel as a past job (although that sounds really odd – maybe that’s just my sleep deprivation talking). Anyway T-bone is trombone.

  8. Oh–duh. Thanks, Glen.
    jeff

  9. Matt says:

    Is this from “Loud Quiet Loud,” that documentary about the Pixies reunion tour? My very thoughtful mother-in-law picked it up for me this Christmas and I’ve not gotten around to watching it yet.

  10. yep, that’s it!

  11. Larry says:

    This has to be psychedelic rock, right? I mean, with the copious coverage given to the Grey Caps and to the various fungi in your stories, there’s bound to be some ‘shroom homages in the lyrics, right?

  12. Well, according to Cheryl. I saw it more as a kind of post-punk band influenced by the Pixies, Nirvana, and Black Heart Procession.
    Jeff

  13. Cheryl says:

    The debut album was called Mushroom Garden, but I’d just sort of imagined that as a Richard Dadd painting. I hadn’t thought of songs. I do think that at some point you’d need to do a cover version of “In an octopus’s garden”, but my mind is blank on mushroom songs right now. Help me out, people.

  14. Larry says:

    Well, Eminem did a song called “Mushrooms,” I believe…

  15. I can not wait to hear their version of Tchaikovsky’s Nutcracker Suite, with Hal’s lyrics.

    I, once upon a time, played the tuba. And the contrabass bugle. I was good, too. I was a section leader at a top twelve Drum and Bugle Corps. I was a major in tuba in college.

    ‘Tis an instrument meant to be felt, not heard.

    I hope, someday, this lovely band will let me pull out a contrabass bugle and blast out the mad Shostakovitch riffs to the punkish beats.

  16. Truth: I used to play guitar, but in a garage (band), not a brothel. I could probably still manage rhythm duties, but keyboards would be a safer bet. However, I hate playing synths, so if we’re talking fantasies, I bags pyrophone.

  17. Larry says:

    Now the question is: Who will play the theremin? Or is that reserved solely for Jimmy Page’s use during hour-long songs?

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