Predator: Me ‘N’ Dave Larsen Are Not Playing Around Here, Folks

Dave Larsen, thinking about weapons

A Predator, thinking about Dave Larsen

People, if you’re going to write a Predator novel, you gotta go in loaded for bear. Bigger’n bear, actually. It’s just that simple. No pussy-footing around. No namby-pampy, no wishy-washy, and ABSOLUTELY NO WATER PISTOLS.

So you go to your main source for weapons information, that being my friend Dave Larsen, he of the Ambergris knife creation…

…the Shriek movie prop creation…

…and now he of the know-your-personal-weapons-when-on-an-island-in-the-South-China-Sea-information, set out after the cut. (Thanks, Dave–couldn’t do this project without you.)

Again, you go into a situation like this, you go hard, you go strong, and you NEVER stop to pick wildflowers. ‘Cause that’s how you get two-dozen M-16 rounds in your sorry ass.

Predator novel writing begins…NOW. (All info below provided by Dave.)



-Soviet standard military small arm since 1947
-Full auto, 30 rounds to 75 rounds drum magazine
-Used by Warsaw Pact, Post-Soviet states, pretty much everyone worldwide
-Inexpensive to manufacture and easy to clean and maintain
-Rugged as hell, almost impossible to get too dirty or wet to fire
-The Kalashnikov is one of the most reliable weapons ever made

Weight – 8.4 lbs unloaded, 9.5 lbs loaded
Round – 7.62 X 39
Kinetic Energy – 1478 ft lbs
Range – 300 m
Rate of Fire – 600 rpm

-Greater range, less recoil, flatter trajectory than AK-47
-Reduced recoil provides greater accuracy on full auto
-Very loud
-Used by former USSR countries and most Mideast countries
-Fires full auto or semi auto
-Full auto is one click down, semi auto two clicks down (top is safe)

Weight – 3.3 kg
Round – 5.45 X 39mm (Similar to round of M-16, 5.56 X 45mm NATO)
Kinetic Energy – 1.39 kilojoules
Range – 500 m
Rate of Fire – 600 rpm

M203 Grenade Launcher
-Single shot

Weight – 3 lbs unloaded
Round – 40 X 46 grenade
Kinetic Energy – explosive round
Range – 160 yds
Rate of Fire – single shot

-Chinese, in service since about 1995
-Used by People’s Republic of China and Cambodia
-Semi-auto bullpup configuration – magazine and receiver behind the trigger
-The 5.8 x 42 mm DBP87 is a small high velocity round similar to 7.62 X 39mm
-Considered to be more effective due to higher muzzle velocity
-These rounds effective against human targets – not so much with large game

Weight – 8 lbs unloaded
Round – 5.8 x 42 mm DBP87 30-round magazine or 75-round drum
Range – 400 m
Rate of Fire – 650 rpm

Ruger No 1 Tropical
-Known for its massive recoil, very simple and reliable “Express Rifle”
-Big Game
-This one is stainless steel, a plus in a jungle
-40″ overall length is relatively shorter than other big game weapons, again good for jungle activities

Weight – 9 lbs
Round – .458 Lott
Range – 458 Lott, about 2.8 inches long
Rate of Fire – Single shot

PEOPLE AND THEIR WEAPONS (not including Predator)

Pirate Captain


Sukhon’s sister


Pirate First Mate

AK-47, A pair of 1911s

Pirate Crew
AK-47s, and big, simple knives (lots of them)

Rath Preap
Ex-Khmer Rouge Colonel
Owns island

AK-74, and Marakov in front pants pocket

Nathan Colquhoun
Partnership A


Jimmy Tau
African arms dealer
Partnership A
Partnership B


Horia Ursu
Romanian – goodfella
Partnership A

AK-47, and Beretta 93R

Maxim Barnes
British rocker
Bored like David Lee Roth

No 1 Tropical
Browning M2

Benjamin Peake
Big-game hunter

Custom-built 4-gauge

Nikolai Bashukov
Russian, ex-KGB
Oil wealth

Winchester Model 70, and Glock 17

Tessa Mariya
Nikolai’s assistant
Contract killer

M16, Kel Tec P3AT, and short, double-edged dagger (She probably carries a piano wire garrote too)

John Gustat
Industrial-rich American
Daredevil – climbing, war, ex-Special Forces

M77 Mark II, M16 with grenade launcher, and Walther P99 in 40 S&W

Giant Crocodile
Huge freakin’ teeth and slammin’ jaw speed and strength. Good luck.

23 comments on “Predator: Me ‘N’ Dave Larsen Are Not Playing Around Here, Folks

  1. Mark Teppo says:

    Those of us at home should set up a pool to see who survives . . . past page 20.

  2. That’s definitely an idea. LOL.


  3. Matt Cheney says:

    And just this morning I was thinking nostalgically of all my old G.I. Joe comic books and Soldier of Fortune magazines…

  4. That’s what I’m talkin’ about. Matt can deconstruct a post-modern tome about as fast as he can take apart and put back together a hunting rifle.


  5. Matt Cheney says:

    Well, I’m very much out of practice. But my father killed a coyote with an AK-47 a few months ago. (He’s not a big hunter or anything, but the coyote was in the driveway and threatening his two cats, and that’s just not allowed.)

  6. Ben E says:

    An Australian called Ben Peake? Hmmm…sounds familiar…

  7. Dave Larsen says:

    Jeff that just makes me squiggle around like a little girl. :D

  8. Hey now there Mr. Larsen–don’t lose your edge. I still gotta get to the end of this thing.


  9. Ben E: Pure coincidence. Benjamin Peake.


  10. Dave Larsen says:

    Hey, don’t worry – I gotcher Predator medicine *right heah*…

    Lot of responses to this thread; I think that bodes well for your novel Jeff! Man I can’t wait to get my clammies on this one.

  11. It’s definitely going to be fun, but it’s a real relief to have you to lean on with the weapon stuff. First off, I know it’ll be right because I don’t think I’d even trust a book 100%, and also just allowing me to concentrate on the story, but having all of this stuff to patch in is awesome.


  12. Dave Larsen says:

    Jeff I showed this to Jeanie; she said, “That’s nice.” This from the chick who went to the Predator movie *tripping*. Feh. Wait till she reads the book. She’ll say her equivalent of “Holy Shit!”, which will sound like, “Jeff’s Predator book is really *good*! You should read it!” To which I’ll think, “*heh…*” :D And then I’ll read that too. heh.

  13. Still trying to figure out how to fit in meerkats, mushrooms, and giant squid.

  14. Matt Staggs says:

    Maybe it’s just me, but “My father killed a coyote with an AK-47 a few months ago” would be a great first line for a short story.

    You should run a contest and see who can submit the best story with this as its first line.

  15. Well, Mr. Cheney would, of course. ;)

  16. Reg ELLERY says:

    It is good to see Dave Larsen doing his bit. Dave got me out of a slump and back into knife making a few years back.
    He even got me out of the dark ages into broad band internet to. veiw Jeff Vandrmeer’s SHRIEK promo trailer. He did that from accross a planet. I am from Australia, these blokes are known far and wide.
    Keep it up

  17. “Pure coincidence. Benjamin Peake.”

    I call bullshit! You know he’s all about shooting crocodiles.

  18. Jeff VanderMeer says:

    Be careful there or it’ll be:

    Tessa Mariya
    Nikolai’s assistant
    Contract killer
    M16, Kel Tec P3AT, and short, double-edged dagger (She probably carries a piano wire garrote too)

  19. I’ve blogged about your list of characters and weapons. And now I’m trying to figure out where in hell I’m going to get those weapons you’ve assigned me, so I could take a picture of me with them, looking fierce. If i do manage that, be sure you’ll get it, framed, about 5 weeks from now, in Nantes. :)

  20. Yes, I think it’s a good idea. In trying to acquire the weapons you’ll gradually come to be exactly like the character in the novel, and that means by the time we meet in Nantes, I can interview you about your new self and not have to do any work. Of course, that also means you’ll be in a much more lucrative line of work, too. :)


  21. Haha! I dare you, especially with the piano wire.

  22. It’s done, Tessa. If you double-dog dare me, you might just wind up a ninja.


  23. I double-dog dare you, no, I TRIPLE dare you.

    (I went to the ninja museum in Iga Ueno today, home of one of the greatest ninjitsu schools in Japan. There were real ninjas demonstrating real ninja fighting with real ninja weapons, and scars to prove it. Tres fucking oooarsum.)

    (Also, I can’t help thinking the last member of your cast should end up biting off someone’s leg, leaving them in fear that it’ll come back to finish the meal for the rest of their life. Peter Pan and Predator. The marriage is just waiting to happen.)

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