Having begun to clear a few things from my plate, the critique service mentioned in the Services section of this site is available again. From short stories to novels and nonfiction, I have experience in just about all areas–and genres, including the amorphous literary mainstream. Any level of writing experience from beginner to advanced. Many widely published writers have benefited from this service.

If interested, inquire at vanderworld at hotmail.com. Please provide the following information: length, general type of fiction, and a paragraph on your general background as a writer.

Rates are per-hour, not page-based, and thus the level/detail of critique is adjustable depending on your budget. I will provide more information when you email me.

If I get too many requests, I can refer you to any of several professional writers I trust to provide a comparable quality of critique.

I’m judging this Brain Harvest Mega Contest. Er, well, kinda. They’re picking the top 10 and I’m picking the winners from the top 10. I hope I don’t have to demand a recount.

Veniss Underground comes out in Poland in July, apparently–looks like a lovely edition! I believe that Shriek: An Afterword comes out later, if I am remembering correctly what my agent told me. Here’s some of the Google translation of the description from that page, just to show you how Google can give you the gist but still be silly. Alas, I don’t know Polish. Do hope to visit in the next year or two.

“The underground venisse to dark beauty and a true story koszmarna, winning fantastic land assault, which transforms in a completely new quality. Jeff VanderMeer has not wasted time to create a conventional, coherent futuristic world, instead of its characters are simple and almost mitologiczną live in the countryside, many of which owe both Hieronimowi Boschowi and Salvadorowi Dali, as well as SF authors such as JG Ballard and Simon ings. Rozgrywające the world outside the disaster progressed side by side with a deep reflection and discovery by the protagonists themselves. Are also full of intense, scattered pages of the novel at all moments of beauty and horror, alive wyjętych directly from the bad dream.

Warning: Readers’ underworld venisse discourages the adoption during the reading of hallucinogens. Will not be needed. And well. ”

Cover design by Jacob McMurray, art by Scott Eagle, the devilish surrealist. The first release from my newly woken Ministry of Whimsy Press, with information up soon on the site of our new protector, Wyrm Publishing. A planned October release in a limited hardcover edition.

Contributors include Michael Bishop, Gene Wolfe, Tanith Lee, Peter Straub, Stephen R. Donaldson, Michael Swanwick, Henry Kaiser, Caitlin R. Kiernan, Bruce Holland Rogers, Conrad Williams, Daniel Abraham, Ellen Kushner, Holly Phillips, Jay Lake, K.J. Bishop, Jon Courtney Grimwood, Sonya Taaffe, Tim Pratt, Sarah Monette, Rikki Ducornet, Nick Mamatas, Nicholas Royle, Marly Youmans, Liz Williams, Brian Evenson, Steve Aylett, Cat Rambo, Richard Butner, and a ton of others….

And below, the original inspiration for the anthology, art by Eric Schaller (which will serve as the fronticepiece). I did a short piece based on the art for Secret Life Redux, which may or may not go in the anthology. Then Matt Cheney did a smart-ass piece based on the name of the art, Last Drink Bird Head, and then a lightbulb clicked on in my head. Now it’s a charity antho for literacy coming out just in time for World Fantasy. (Right now, plans are to have a party after the opening ceremonies, Thursday night, called Last Drink Bird Head that celebrates the release of Finch, Booklife, LDBH, a new Weird Tales, and, erm, some probable surprises.)

I just got around to doing a partial rewrite of the Services section of this blog, updating it to include my wife, Ann, and a more complete list of what it is we do under the moniker of VanderWorld Creative–everything from creativity workshops to fan dancing. Okay, no dancing, but we’ve developed a pretty extensive resume when it comes to teaching, speaking engagements, and individual critiquing. Among other services. This is stuff we love to do, and we’ve gotten very good at it.

Later this week, in fact, Ann will be doing a creativity workshop for World of Warcraft in Los Angeles, teaming up with Cat Rambo for that particular event. Next spring, with Victoria Blake, we’ll host a Booklife conference on sustainable careers/creativity in Portland, Oregon, while Ann and I host a more secluded Booklife retreat in St. Augustine, Florida. (More information on both at Booklifenow, when it goes live.)

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Today, K. Tempest Bradford is starting her write-a-thon on behalf of Clarion West. As a graduate of Clarion and an instructor at both Clarion and Clarion South, I can tell you that all three versions of the workshop offer an invaluable service to SF/F writers. It’s not just the workshop–although that’s paramount–it’s also about the value to the community, something that I think manifests itself most strongly at Clarion West because of their location in Seattle.

I’m sponsoring Tempest to the tune of $100. You should too–especially since Amazon has given Clarion West a matching grant. Here’s more information, right from Tempest… – Jeff

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(See it better-bigger by clickin’ here.)

Jacob McMurray has come up with an awesome cover for my short story collection, out from Tachyon in 2010. Back cover text is placeholder, of course. I’m currently selecting the contents, with a due date of turning the manuscript in July 1st.

***

It made its home in the deep forest near the village of Grommin, and all anyone ever saw of it, before the end, would be hard eyes and the dark barrel of its muzzle. The smell of piss and blood and shit and bubbles of saliva and half-eaten food. The villagers called it the Third Bear because they had killed two bears already that year. But, near the end, no one really thought of it as a bear, even though the name had stuck, changed by repetition and fear and slurring through blood-filled mouths to Theeber. Sometimes it even sounded like “seether” or “seabird.”

(Cover by John Coulthart; the blurb reads, “What use is this? If ever I were to cook one of these, you know you wouldn’t eat it anyway.” – Bubbe)

We’ve just turned in The Kosher Guide to Imaginary Animals, subtitled “The Evil Monkey Dialogues.” The cover and interior design will both be by John Coulthart. Each entry in the bestiary will be illustrated with art either selected or created by Coulthart (and we hope to stick in some Ian Miller, too…). Joseph Nigg, author of The Book of Fabulous Beasts (OUP), provides a foreword. The release date is February 2010, just in time for Purim–although I should add that the book will appeal to non-Jews as well. We’ve added a pinch of Borges here and there. Our book is a lot sillier than his bestiary, of course, but it seemed somehow an oversight not to do a tip of the hat…

What works for a blog entry is different than what works for a book. In creating the book version of Kosher, we jettisoned some of the entries that originally featured on the blog, added new ones, and radically revised and supplemented the original entries we did keep. It should make for a very nice gift book–a beautiful little hardcover, 5 x 7, 96 pages.

Here’s the description and the TOC:

Whimsically illustrated, this bite-sized bestiary is the deciding vote on which fantastical creatures are kosher. Embarking on an undomesticated romp from A to Z, the ritual cleanliness of E.T., hobbits, Mongolian Death Worms, and the elusive chupacabra are discussed. This hilarious kashrut is the offspring of a debate that began on Jeff Vandermeer’s blog, between his alter-ego, Evil Monkey, and his editor/wife. Addressing questions such as Is a vegetable-lamb a vegetable or a lamb? Does licking the Pope make you trayf? What exactly is a Pollo Maligno? and Is Sasquatch roast stringy? this irreverent abecedary is a perfect gift for anyone seeking to broaden their imaginary culinary experiences guilt-free.

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Forgive me for tooting my own horn, but…Just a couple of updates on Finch, which is in pre-production. First off, Underland has done a lovely job of making the layout noirish without overdoing it. The type is readable but unique, and it just looks really good. Secondly, there will definitely be a Finch limited, including a soundtrack by Murder by Death. I don’t know what the limited’s print run will be, but if it’s 300 or under I will personalize each signing sheet by writing in a couple of sentences of deleted text. There’s just about enough good deleted stuff to do that for 300 copies. If you’re interested, just email victoria at underlandpress.com to reserve a copy or ask for more details. The trade edition will be in bookstores November 1st, and there will be a release party at World Fantasy Con, at which I am a guest of honor. Then I’ll be off for four to five weeks of touring behind Finch and Booklife, all across the country.

Here’s the short description of the novel:

In Finch, mysterious underground inhabitants known as the gray caps have reconquered the failed fantasy state Ambergris and put it under martial law. They have disbanded House Hoegbotton and are controlling the human inhabitants with strange addictive drugs, internment in camps, and random acts of terror. The rebel resistance is scattered, and the gray caps are using human labor to build two strange towers. Against this backdrop, John Finch, who lives alone with a cat and a lizard, must solve an impossible double murder for his gray cap masters while trying to make contact with the rebels. Nothing is as it seems as Finch and his disintegrating partner Wyte negotiate their way through a landscape of spies, rebels, and deception. Trapped by his job and the city, Finch is about to come face to face with a series of mysteries that will change him and Ambergris forever.

Also, blurbs have begun to come in. I’m psyched because although Finch is a fantasy novel, it’s also a noir detective mystery and early notices from some of my favorite writers in that genre are enthusiastic.

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(A photo from back in the day, when I was promoting Ann’s boxing career. We never did get that elusive title shot against Ali’s daughter. But Ann was a solid 25-1-1, with 23 knock-outs, before the inevitable slide when I hired Mayweather Sr. as her trainer. Ended up 34-12-1 and broke outside of St. Louis, fending off rats. Man, those were good times. But, I gotta say, we both find the writing and editing a lot easier.)

Ann and I are taking some desperately needed R&R over our (seventh!) anniversary weekend (four days, sun, sand, margaritas, reading). There won’t be no posting until Wednesday-ish. May you all be safe, well, and happy.

And, if you’re around, feel free to post on any of the following topics: your current or future reading, your current or future projects, or any pet peeve topic you just can’t stop thinking about no matter what and posting here might just save your sanity. Those sorts of things. No fighting, though! And no kissing!

Finally, will leave you with some choice linkage from this blog over the past few weeks, beyond what’s still on the front page.

Goodbye, intertubes. Goodbye, all you fellow weirdoes…until next time…

The Pathology of Derek Raymond’s Dead Man Upright and a longer post on the first four Factory novels by Raymond.

Godzilla Poop

Bookdeath Tips on PR

Sfar and Trondheim’s Dungeon brilliance

Clowns: Not Just For Brunch Anymore!

Bad Asses Move a Dragon Head

Consequences of Buying Weird Stuff at the Grocery Store

Finch from Inception to Interior Layout

And, finally, a sneak peek at a link I’ll be featuring on Omnivoracious next week…

< late-breakin’ link to my Graphic Novel Friday feature on The Best of Simon and Kirby–great book.>>

[Oh, yeah--and Charles Tan is apparently trying to lure me into some kind of trap by posting this and this:]

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