Writers: What’s the Stupidest Story Idea You Ever Had?

Jeff VanderMeer • September 18th, 2011 @ 11:22 am • News, Writing Tips

This one is just for fun…and to show readers just how many bullets they may have dodged…

What’s the stupidest story idea you ever came up with? Or the stupidest story you wrote, possibly without at first realizing it was stupid? (And if so, how did you find out it was stupid? Did someone have to tell you?)

My stupidest story is probably one in which FBI agents afraid of wiretaps communicate via a secret language composed of farts…I also once wrote a poem that was an ode to my beard. In my defense…I was fairly young.

Now it’s your turn…

16 Responses to “Writers: What’s the Stupidest Story Idea You Ever Had?”

  1. Franz McLaren says:

    I once started a story about a high rise apartment complex that was totally self contained. Residents were born, lived, and died there. The gimmick of an earthbound microcosm kept eclipsing the plot. I threw it out and used the plot in another, less overpowering setting.

  2. John H. Stevens says:

    Probably the one where a supercomputer rejects math and tries to use kabbalistic symbols to calculate with instead.

    Poem: the one about a coin spinning endlessly in the air. That’s all the poem was about!

  3. captaincurt81 says:

    There was a time travel story wherein a man could go to other places in time when finishing the sex act. Talk about a climax! Buried that one of course.

  4. Tucker Cummings says:

    This first story I ever wrote was in second grade. It was called “Duck and Pig Have Tea.” A duck and a pig wanted some tea, but didn’t have any in their house, so they went to the store, bought some, and made tea. The end.

    I also started a novel once about people who interacted in dreams on the Astral Plane, but then had amnesia upon waking. Terrible, terrible ideas.

  5. Vincent Pendergast says:

    I’m pretty sure that I once tried to write a story involving an engine that ran on sarcasm.

  6. Dylan Fox says:

    Probably the one which starts with, ‘Oh my God, I’ve just killed Hitler… I only wanted to punch him. I mean, if you had a time machine, you tell me you wouldn’t go back in time and punch Hitler in the face…’ The protagonist then tries to maintain the time line by taking Hitler’s place, only he sits down and works through Goering’s cross-dressing issues with him and delays Operation Barbarossa until the summer because, being an engineer, he can’t bring himself to do something as stupid as invade Russia during the winter.

    Lucky escape for us all, I think.

  7. Robert Walis says:

    Dylan > Actually, you got me interested :P What the heck, I’d read that story. And I’d go see the movie :)

  8. Steven R. Stewart says:

    I once had an idea for a comic book where all the characters had pun names. Ghettogre. Afro-Saxon. Quiet Earp. Recyclops. Snowmantis. Flapjack-o-lantern. They battled an evil military commander who constantly made corn puns. His name? The Kernel. To do his bidding, the Kernel hired an elite group of beautiful assassins who had intimate anatomical knowledge of where and how to strike a lethal blow: The Nursenaries.

  9. Peter M Ball says:

    John Flamsteed saves the world by having sex with aliens.

  10. Bethany Harvey says:

    The one in which a middle-aged married couple discover they’re actually long-lost siblings. I got a few pages in before I realized that, actually, my idea was just a premise, and no actual plot was forthcoming.

    Also everything I wrote in high school. I wrote huge, ambitious, action-packed stories. The kind of stories I had no hope of actually doing well. My classmates would win the county writing competition with stories about basketball-playing cats, and I’d be all “What? Mine has a helicopter hijacking and a forbidden romance! I had to cut, like, every third word to cram it into twenty pages! How could I not have won?”

  11. Marian says:

    One night, I woke up and I was sure that I have a very good idea. Brilliant! I wrote a few words on a paper and I went back to sleep. The next day, before I drink my coffee, I looked for that paper. The paper was written just so: an air bubble. This was my brilliant idea? An air bubble? And even if I remembered what I wanted to do with the fucking air bubble, I’m pretty sure it was a bad idea. :)

  12. Dan says:

    I once wrote a villanelle in response to the song “My Hips Don’t Lie” by Shakira entitled “My Hips are Liars”.

  13. Harry Markov says:

    I will only say talking Muffins with a very sarcastic sense of humor as well as aversion to the collocation ‘muffin top’

  14. Hannu Blommila says:

    Few years ago I started to write this longish story with a working title “Kore in the Underworld.” It was about this young woman whose husband had died of leukemia. The woman goes to a bar in downtown Helsinki where she meets Baron Samedi and they drink some nitroglycerin together. Turns out everybody in the world – except the woman – is in fact dead. They just don’t know it. Later the woman travels to hell that exists inside her own head and…Well, as you might’ve figured out, it was a complete mess. I went to a bar myself, and after couple of drinks (whiskey, not nitroglycerin) common sense prevailed and I just abandoned it.

  15. Melinda Belle says:

    Oh, Gah! I plotted one where one of the main characters could not talk! I believed I could pull that off. Writing it was, well, like you said, “STUPID.”

  16. Mark Mandel says:

    I started a story that was narrated in 1st person from the point of view of a diabetic pancreas. It began:

    “I knew that she was a mouthful of trouble as soon as she started going on and on about the Three Jackpots. Sure, I knew of them. What internal organ doesn’t? The Three Jackpots. The Three Shits. The Three Craps. Call them what you will, they come in threes: wham, bam, thank you ma’am.”

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *

You may use these HTML tags and attributes: <a href="" title=""> <abbr title=""> <acronym title=""> <b> <blockquote cite=""> <cite> <code> <del datetime=""> <em> <i> <q cite=""> <strike> <strong>