Mah Eyes, Mah Eyes

My left eye has gone blind from reading steampunk stories.

My right eye has gone blind from reading weird fiction.

Thankfully, Ann’s not gone blind yet–and my third eye decided to open up right as the other two were going blind, and now I’m reading something composed on its thorax and cinderhausenblickblick by a multi-dimensional thing out of Alpha Centauri. But, the tale’s not quite right, and now I’m going to have to reject the story…and this thing has got tentacles in twelve dimensions, and shark’s teeth in twenty and claws in six.

I’ll be lucky if I’m not ripped from gultch to zillip.

Comments

  1. Divers Hands says

    The tale’s not quite right in which dimension? I for one decry your clearly perceivist notions of time and space. Just because 3-Dimensional awareness happens to dominate on this plane is no reason for you to go promoting your narrow view of perceptual superiority.

    Rememeber, said entity has also ten million tear ducts to cry from, and at least sixteen hearts to break…

  2. Rachel Swirsky says

    Do you get sort of stunned from reading where nothing makes sense anymore? Or, it may make sense, but you couldn’t possibly be mustered to care at this point? …

  3. Jeff VanderMeer says

    Rachel: Not really with the general weird fiction reading because it is so various.

    On Steampunk…it does all begin to blur after awhile, but that’s why it’s great Ann and I edit all this stuff together. We don’t ever seem to get snowblind at the same time or over the same story. And, frankly, some of the similarities between stories help because it’s so easy to say “this element is handled better in this story than in this one.”

    But when I reach that point I disengage for a day or two before jumping back in. I do think I am being inoculated against ever again reading anything with dirigibles, goggles, weird anachronistic inventions, automatons, etc. But that’s just fine with me. I love love love this antho we’re putting together, but I don’t usually write Steampunk myself and would not want to spend the rest of my days with peoples on the streets pointing and saying “Thar goes the Steampunky punk punk riter!” just cause I’m ain’t.

    We also found a wonderful (and progressive!) story from Jules Verne’s time that’s never been translated before, so that’s exciting.

    Jeff

  4. Rachel Swirsky says

    “We also found a wonderful (and progressive!) story from Jules Verne’s time that’s never been translated before, so that’s exciting.”

    Oooo.

    I admire all you do.

  5. says

    That’s kind of you to say, Rachel. It really is an amazing find.

    And then more reading, arggh! For Steampunk Bible. For my nonfiction collection, and Clarion San Diego student applicant stories. Mah eyeballs! Arggh.

    Jeff