The Kosher Guide to Imaginary Animals, Almost Complete

Jeff VanderMeer • October 25th, 2009 @ 5:45 pm • News

Just turning in corrections on the first book Ann and I have written together: The Kosher Guide to Imaginary Animals.

Ninety-six pages of awesome in beautiful 5 x 7 hardcover form:

—Preface by Joseph Nigg, How to Raise and Keep a Dragon
—Introduction by Ann
—Thirty plus descriptions of fantastical creatures with running commentary between Ann and Evil Monkey
—A hilarious and sometimes raucous discussion of fantastical animal recipes between Ann and Food Network star Duff Goldman (Ace of Cakes)
—Cover and interior by genius designer John Coulthart

Need I say more? Out in February, hopefully in time for Purim.

12 Responses to “The Kosher Guide to Imaginary Animals, Almost Complete”

  1. Ennis Drake says:

    Duff Goldman? You’re shitting me.

  2. Jeff VanderMeer says:

    Nope. Here’s a taste of that part of the book…

    Ann: Infused with Evil? I kind of wonder how Evil would taste?

    Duff: Evil is probably kind of like the inside shell of a walnut. I mean if I was going to say what does Evil taste like, I would say walnut shells. Just that really bitter, astringent thing that makes you make a face. Makes your mouth itch. You know what I mean? That little skin inside a walnut you peel off. I’m making evil sounds just talking about it.

    Ann: Evil Monkey would probably taste like that, too.

  3. Ennis Drake says:

    Oh man, that is awesome. I love Ace of Cakes; I don’t know how anyone could not like that show.

    How did Duff end up in the book, if you don’t mind me asking? Actually, you know what, answer that after the tour (I wish you good luck, good speed, good times, and good beer on that, btw). Post about it. Or, I’ll e-mail harass you about it.

  4. Jeff VanderMeer says:

    Don’t you mean how was Duff lucky enough to talk to Ann?!?! Bwaahaahaa.

    Matt Staggs knows Duff, mentioned the project, and he found it of interest.

  5. Ennis Drake says:

    I don’t doubt that Duff saw it that way. Don’t know anyone that wouldn’t. Honestly. You VanderMeer’s are a contemporary institution.

    So, what you’re saying is, I can e-mail harass Matt about it? He won’t thank you for that. ; )

  6. Jeff VanderMeer says:

    You can harass Matt as much as you like. BUT HE KNOWS THE DEATH SQUID.

  7. Ennis Drake says:

    LOL! Yeah, but I’m the CAT WHISPERER. So, I’m sort of like Aquaman, but I talk to domesticated cats. Beware! My tights are living cat hair. And they’re full of DANDER!

    Right. That made no sense. But I know you didn’t expect it to, so I think I’m good. :p

  8. Ennis Drake says:

    Matt Staggs has been harassed. DEATH SQUID avoided (for now). POW! BAM! TIZZY! (imagine Aquaman-talking-to-da-fishes sound effect _here_)


  9. J M McDermott says:

    Borges may have a very heavy flavor, I suspect. Kind of like biting into a very, very ripe pomegranate ‘s juice mixed with espresso and distilled into a paper-thin wafer, so dark and so rich, one can’t help but cringe in horror.

    I hear Duff is actually filled with cartoon beer. Ergo kosher.

  10. John Coulthart says:

    Borges tastes like maté tea, the marrow of tigers, cow gum, rice paper, corned beef, braised quail, oil of bergamot, Fry’s Turkish Delight, pear drops and those tiny silver balls used in cake decoration. Maybe.

  11. Hellbound Heart says:

    well i be buggered, how about this, then…..

    peace and love….

  12. jeff vandermeer says:

    John: wow.

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