ROOF CRUTCH (to go with Traveling Neighbor Morgue)
Jeff VanderMeer • September 17th, 2009 @ 8:15 am • Culture
You might remember my post about the traveling morgue show that used to stop by our neighborhood…
Well, now, on the other side of our corner lot, there’s this…
ROOF CRUTCHES! Been there for about a month now. Words like why? come to mind. I will investigate further…
September 17, 2009 at 8:17 am
Yes… this used to be a nice family-oriented neighborhood. I have no idea what’s going on now.
September 17, 2009 at 8:27 am
The neighborhood is fine–and these neighbors are fine, too. The crutches are just a bit weird.
September 17, 2009 at 8:40 am
Now it’s a nice Addams-family-oriented neighborhood.
September 17, 2009 at 8:42 am
LOL!!!!!!!!
September 17, 2009 at 9:07 am
I now have an urge to watch Tom Hanks’ campy The Burbs.
September 17, 2009 at 9:36 am
This is why you are a writer. Go write a story about this and get it published :P.
September 17, 2009 at 10:20 am
No, I’m reporting on it precisely because I *won’t* be writing a story about it.
September 17, 2009 at 11:34 am
Maybe they put them up there in case they need to work on the roof one day, and ALSO happen to have a broken leg… you know, just to be prepared.
September 17, 2009 at 11:57 am
Obviously it’s an offering to the Gods. It’s either a “thank you, I no longer need them” (if your gods happen to be nice ones), or “please curse those who oppose me” (if they’re no so nice).
Florida still has a big Santeria crowd, doesn’t it?
September 17, 2009 at 2:46 pm
They are there in case you fall onto the roof and break your leg.
September 17, 2009 at 3:55 pm
The hillbillies who owned our house first left a pair of crutches in my storeroom. I’ll send them to you if you want to erect a similar display at your own house.
September 17, 2009 at 4:06 pm
That kind of escalation leads to bloodshed and madness, Matt. You know it does. You go from living in a quiet neighborhood to having the starring role in a really twisted Joe R. Lansdale story…
September 17, 2009 at 5:34 pm
Sigh…it’s so obvious. A cripple has been HEALED! And in his or her elation threw the crutches on the roof needing them no more.
September 18, 2009 at 6:25 am
…they’re not crutches, they’re actually modified ski poles for slalem-ing down your roof……..and on to a trampoline……and on to the roof of your neighbour’s car……
peace and love……
September 18, 2009 at 7:10 am
It’s only a matter of time before your neighbors start to wonder why this strange guy keeps taking pictures of their houses and cars and some twisted, suburban version of Spy vs Spy ensues.