Things That Haven’t Happened Yet ‘Cause I’m Flat-Out Exhausted

But they will, they will, once I get mah second wind. Or a spare moment. Or a couple of assistants. Sigh. Not to mention the House of Cabinets antho that should’ve been done a long time ago, and Love Drunk Book Heads. Double sigh. (If not for Ann, Last Drink would be in the weeds, too.)

UPDATE: Urk, Hannu Blommila made me think of a new antho idea–CAPYGOTTI: A Bestiary of Fantastical Writers. “In the Capygotti’s tiny, reflectionless black eyes you can see the existential dread of legions.” Now I’m even farther behind!

Both covers by the mysterious Jacob M…


  1. says

    The first one is just to confuse peoples further, re Secret Life/Secret Lives/Secret Life Redux, but is basically extrapolations of the secret lives of famous people, using real historical facts. For example, the fact that William the Conqueror was a shapeshifter who took the form of a giant electric eel during the night. Stuff like that. And, erm, the exploits of a miniaturized Churchill aboard his reliable swallow/swift (can’t remember what the bird above is).

    Crap. Just forgot I’m also supposed to be writing a series of short-shorts about Juan Mandible Sick-Eyes…

  2. Hannu Blommila says

    But hey, you’re a Komodohalo (and now apparantly the reincarnation of Vaucanson’s mechanical duck, created by Frédéric Vidoni, as well) you can do ANYTHING. ;-)

  3. says

    Hrmm…now I’m waiting to see if you’ll write about Hitler the Farting Dictator, which could be seen as a sequel/response of sorts to Walter the Farting Dog.

  4. Ann VanderMeer says

    I told Jeff that he needs to add one more thing to the list of things that haven’t happened yet – and that’s a clean, well-organized house!

  5. says

    Well, you said something about the secret lives of famous people using real facts. Here’s the historical proof. Just one more sign that reality is stranger than fiction, no?

  6. says

    Oh. Gotcha. Sorta like the sordid tales that can be imagined about the lives of the drivers of the Oscar Meyer Wienermobile?

  7. Hellbound Heart says

    the cats gather to see what horrible fate has befallen their esteemed and beloved master…..OH NO!!!! a bizarre fungoid growth sprouting from his head, the spores having been dormant for months in the living room carpet and waiting for the ripe moment to spring to alien life……WHAT NEXT??????

    peace and love………