What Am I Thinking? And Plug Yer Stuff
Jeff VanderMeer • July 10th, 2009 @ 12:28 pm • Uncategorized
So…here’s the deal. I’m off the internets and on vacation until Sunday night. Between now and then, tell me what I’m thinking in the photo above. Winner will receive a cool book.
Or, if you’d rather, just plug yer latest creative project. Or, do both by plugging yer latest creative project by telling me what I’m thinking. Or…go home, have a nice rest and a bath, and drink a nice margarita and ferget the blogosphere even exists.
Bye.
July 10, 2009 at 12:38 pm
you’re thinking: mimesis
July 10, 2009 at 12:44 pm
You’re thinking you’ve found the Lovecraft’s sippy cup.
July 10, 2009 at 12:46 pm
Why did i come here ? i are they trying to kill us here in k-mart with the smells .this is as far as i go ,this look like something i like but it smells , take my pic. and then i will put it back .what will they think of next ,
July 10, 2009 at 12:52 pm
“Ann, will you buy this for me?!”
July 10, 2009 at 12:52 pm
“I wonder if I can get my eyes that wide for the camera. …just a little.. wider… before they dry out…”
July 10, 2009 at 12:57 pm
“You’re thinking you’ve found the Lovecraft’s sippy cup.” Hahahahah! Nice!
July 10, 2009 at 1:01 pm
Who comes up with weird stuff?
July 10, 2009 at 1:02 pm
“…and here’s my Marty Feldman impression — now with squid cup.”
July 10, 2009 at 1:03 pm
“Whhaaa! How…?! Why…?! Am I a cup?”
July 10, 2009 at 1:12 pm
“And to complete my plan, I’ll use these innocent looking cephalopod-shaped cups to turn every child into a …. capybara under my complete control. Ouch, diabolical plans give me a headache. Pass the eye drops and pain tabs please, Ann. Um, Ann. Please before my head starts to look like the sippy cup.”
July 10, 2009 at 1:31 pm
“This is so going to be the design for the cover of the next Squid-punk anthology–a YA variation I’ll call Kid Squid.”
July 10, 2009 at 1:42 pm
To late Jeff realized that it was actually a Blue Ringed Octopus cup that had been holding it’s breath until it turned purple.
And not exactly my stuff, but I’m going to Viable Paradise this year. Woohoo!
July 10, 2009 at 1:56 pm
When the shocking realization sunk in, that Jeff’s fart was wetter than usual, he desperately tried to focus the cameraman’s attention on his upper body by creatively asking, ‘tell me what I’m thinking…’ whilst grasping the nearest object and clenching his buttocks tightly…
July 10, 2009 at 2:05 pm
I guess I forgot to add that vulgarity will be disqualified… :)
July 10, 2009 at 2:07 pm
“I think I just figured out where those other tentacles went.”
July 10, 2009 at 2:54 pm
You’re thinking, “Hmm, that’s the last time I’m getting a haircut during one of my 72-stays in the psych ward. Oh Squiddy, why didn’t you warn me!”
Also, people should buy my new collection You Might Sleep…
July 10, 2009 at 3:22 pm
(I guess I forgot to add that vulgarity will be disqualified… :))
That’s a bummer…
:P
July 10, 2009 at 4:02 pm
Jesus Christ, how did this get from my bathtub into the store?
July 10, 2009 at 4:24 pm
….i wonder if i take it home will it get on with the cats……is it house trained? how big does it grow? what do i feed it? will i still be able to use the bathtub? nah……i’d end up flushing it down the toilet…..ann, let’s go to the home hardware section…..
peace and love……
July 10, 2009 at 4:27 pm
“Hee, hee, I wrote a noir.”
July 10, 2009 at 4:33 pm
Your mind is blanking, just like River Tam’s did when she saw a very similar octopus.
July 10, 2009 at 5:05 pm
“Believe it or not, this used to be my gall bladder.”
As for creative projects, I have a new gardening column in the next Gothic Beauty, and I’m working on a Seekrit Project that’ll make your eyes bleed.
July 10, 2009 at 6:08 pm
“Meet my kid brother.”
July 10, 2009 at 6:17 pm
‘If I blink, it’ll drink.’
July 10, 2009 at 6:19 pm
“What have they done to my publicist?”
July 10, 2009 at 8:09 pm
Powderpuff Girls style meets zombie octopus advertising. (Slogan: “Octocana. Fresh brains, straight from the source. Now both Cute AND Delicious!”)
July 10, 2009 at 8:23 pm
“In the immortal words of Socrates – ‘I drank what?’”
July 10, 2009 at 9:50 pm
“Man, this is embarrassing. Show them the funny cup. Maybe they won’t notice the tiny head growing out of my right shoulder…”
July 11, 2009 at 12:20 am
“Yes, O Pink Squid Mistress, I will take you to the Whitehouse to pursue your plans for world domination. No, I don’t think that colour makes your head look fat.”
July 11, 2009 at 12:42 am
Jeff VanderMeer was thinking: “Was that the flash?”
But that wasn’t the important thing. The crucial thing. The fulcrum point.
No.
The critical picture was painted (pale red hues) in the thought that _escaped_ Jeff VanderMeer — the thing so few of us are thinking in that instant when we are devoured by Life and spat into our shallow holes. Jeff was not thinking, “This is the last moment.”
Shock-blue light seared. Was that the flash? And Evil Monkey — swollen and tragically comic on his murder-perch — flung himself from the top shelf.
—————————-
My latest short, “Love: The Breath of Eagleray”, can be found at underlandpress.com; give it a whirl. It won’t be the worst ten minutes of your life. I don’t think.
___________________________________
Enjoy your margaritas, Jeff. Cheers.
July 11, 2009 at 4:37 am
“My name is Juan Váldez. One can grow coffee in many countries, but it is special when it is grown in Colombia“
July 11, 2009 at 8:14 am
“When the time is right, will YOU be ready?”
July 11, 2009 at 8:21 am
See? It isn’t just me. Other people have this problem too.
July 11, 2009 at 8:39 pm
Hmm. Eyes wide and glassy… a touch of fear? You are wondering if the object in your hand has contaminated you with microscopic black government pyramids. Sadly, it very likely has. Put it down, take two asprin, and wash your hands repeatedly.
July 11, 2009 at 8:42 pm
This would never happen in Ambergris. Why can’t cephalopods get any respect in this world?
July 12, 2009 at 2:42 pm
Heh. Well, that’s a pretty easy one–Steve Nagy and Lovecraft’s sippy cup. Steve email me your address at vanderworld at hotmail.com. You get a copy of the Finch ARC.
July 12, 2009 at 4:06 pm
Here’s what Jeff is thinking: “Shit! Slugs don’t have shells!”
July 12, 2009 at 4:32 pm
“I think you have a point my lovely little sippy cup. I think she IS laughing at us.”
I’m starting up an erotic zombie novella soon. Super sexcited about that one, I is.
July 13, 2009 at 11:52 am
Fruity Oaty Bars!
July 14, 2009 at 7:19 pm
“Ann, I think it’s looking at me. No sudden movements! Slowly now, pass me the axe…”