Mord’s reign on Facebook has come to an end, but here are the highlights from yesterday, following up on my last post. (Mord is a [nonspeaking] character in a short novel I’m working on, fragment from which can be found here.)

8:20am
MORD EMOTIONALLY EXHAUSTED FROM UNEXPECTED STRESS OF ALL THE KILLING AND EATING. BUT A HAPPY SORT OF EXHAUSTION.
>>Paul Witcover at 8:33am April 9: the vocabulary of this post seems a bit advanced for Mord. Has he hired–or eaten–a ghost writer?
>>Matt Staggs at 9:04am April 9: Welcome back, Mord! I knew that there wasn’t an editor in this world who could put you away for good.
>>George Kenneth Berger at 9:20am April 9: Hope you enjoyed it. My friend is still in hysterics.
>>Paul Riddell at 9:21am April 9: I agree, Paul. Mord seems far too eloquent to be the person he says he is. I suspect that Mord ransacked a monastery and stole all of the books.
>>Jeff VanderMeer at 9:26am April 9: MORD HAS HIS MOMENTS. ATE MANY EDUCATED PEOPLES YESTERDAY.
>>Paul Riddell at 9:30am April 9: Or a few LOLcats.
>>Jeff VanderMeer at 9:44am April 9: LOLcats ODDLY UNSATISFYING TO MORD’S STOMACH. EVEN WITH THE SCREAMING.
>>[picture of Mord weapon collection]
>>Chuck Gannon at 10:21am April 9: …Mord DOES appear to be very well armed. Or are these the crumbs left behind by previously devoured hotpockets? (I count 3 Thompsons, Ruger Mini-14, H&K MP5, Schmeisser, and two more I’m not sure of–Ruger target pistol? Mossberg 500 pump? Naw–I’m wrong, there). Whew! Mord is the life (well, death) of any party or seder, for sure!
>>Jeff VanderMeer at 11:24am April 9: TOOK THEM OFF LAST BATTALION TRIED TO “TAKE HIM OUT. GODDAMMIT TAKE HIM OUT! TOO CLOSE. TAKE COVER. OH GOD.”

2:39pm
MORD HATE DOING CRITIQUES. EVEN AT SMALLEST SIZE, DIPPING CLAW IN BLOOD, MAKE MESS ON PAPER. ADVICE ALWAYS SAME ANYWAY. MORE BLOW UP. MORE FIGHT. MORE MEAT. MORE FLYING. MORE GROWLING.
>>Val Grimm at 2:48pm April 9: Mord use manuscript stun small pigeon? Eat eat? : D
>>Frank A. Dudley at 2:53pm April 9: You do know that “Mord” is the German word for murder…?
>>Sharyn November at 2:53pm April 9: jeff, you are a human being. you are not “mord.” unless you have a secret hulk or bigfoot persona we don’t know about. i also hope that ann makes you clean up after yourself.
>>Kameron Hurley at 2:58pm April 9: That sounds a lot like the critiques *I* give!
>>Livia Llewellyn at 3:55pm April 9: So, Mord, you went to Clarion, too?
>>Jeff VanderMeer at 3:57pm April 9: MORD DEVOUR GRIMM AND PIGEON AND DUDLEY AND NOVEMBER AND NOT LISTEN TO THEIR WORDS. MORD NOT DEVOUR HURLEY. HURLEY BADASS.
>>Jeff VanderMeer at 3:59pm April 9: MORD DEVOUR LIVIA TOO. QUITE FULL NOW. CRITIQUE DONE. ALL FAIL.
>>Livia Llewellyn at 4:09pm April 9: I reject your critique – I AM PERFECT. I’m going to get drunk and troll pro-writer’s blogs. ARE YOU HAPPY NOW?
>>Jeff VanderMeer at 4:24pm April 9: MORD NOT CARE WHAT YOU DO ONCE INSIDE BELLY.
>>Livia Llewellyn at 4:34pm April 9: I troll every pro blog I see/From Van-der-Meer to De-lan-Y/You’ll never make a dinner out of me!/Oh God I was wrong!/I’ve been 4theluv all along!/’Cause I am just a Clueless Wannabe/Oh yes, I now am inside MORD’S BELLYYYYYYY! (i ♥ you, doctor zeus!)
>>Jeff VanderMeer at 4:55pm April 9: *MORD SPITS OUT LIVIA*

6:17pm
MORD PONDER THE INFINITE: MORD SEE WORLD STRIPPED DOWN AND TRUE, OR JUST A TOTORO GONE BAD? MORD FIND OUT AT NITE’S SEDER.

11:14pm
MORD COWED BY 80 LB GIRL WHO INSISTED HE LIFT HER ENTIRE WEIGHT ON ONE FOOT. DID NOT DEVOUR HER. MUST BE GOING SOFT. MAYBE THIS IS THE END. DIDN’T EVEN PEE ANYWHERE.
>>Chuck Gannon at 11:27pm April 9: MORD: BEWARE! LIFTING YOUNGLINGS AND PONDERING OF THE INFINITE CAN UN-MORD MORD. AND CHILD-SMILE HAS SPECIAL POWER TO UN-MORD ANY OF US.
>>John McCarthy at 11:28pm April 9: C’mon Mord–you should at least be able to squeeze out a few squirts! Mark some territory, Great Beast.
>>Jeff VanderMeer at 11:44pm April 9: NO, MORD NOT CARE. MORD’S ASS KICKED BY TINY GIRL CHILD. GOING BACK TO CAVE FOR NOW.
>>Lisa Miller Donaldson at 12:16am April 10: Mord gave tiny girl a fright.
>>Jeff VanderMeer at 12:18am April 10: MORD MORE FRIGHTENED BY INSTRUCTION TO DANCE.
>>Gary Gibson at 4:10am April 10: Mord dance like girl? Or Mord dance like Mord? Bet Mord dances like girl.
>>Jeff VanderMeer at 4:33am April 10: MORD DANCE LIKE FRANKENSTEIN :(