Finch Case File 22809A: Discomedusae – Fungal Equivalent Conversion Division

Jeff VanderMeer • March 12th, 2009 @ 9:35 am • Writing Tips

10:00 a.m., roughly year 800 After Silence, old calendar

Subject:
Discomedusae jellyfish = broachlike golden fungus found in underground gray cap ecosystem.

Process:
Tendrils severed and re-attached to upper body. Lower body filled in with muscle type S81 and topped off with thousands of cilia. Reinforced to withstand air pressure. Cell structure radically altered. Feeding mouth modified for intake of parasites and small cave crustaceans as well as plant matter. Reclassified genetically as akin to the compass starfish first converted in Shriek: An Afterword. Placed in holding areas underground, integrated into existing ecosystem. Per standard procedure, information encoded in viral spores replacing prior memories of absence of same among humans and non-humans alike within twenty-mile radius of city center. To a depth of ten miles.

Notes:
Conversion continues apace. Subject converted in 2.3 nanoseconds. Conversion 99.9% successful. Less than 0.1% discrepancy between prior reality and new reality. Confirmed same with Oversight Division and cc’d to Ethan Bliss.

Next Subject:
Platypus.

8 Responses to “Finch Case File 22809A: Discomedusae – Fungal Equivalent Conversion Division”

  1. Zak Jarvis says:

    That, right there, is a damn fine sex scene.

  2. Marty Stephenson says:

    About a year ago I watched part of a symposium, I think hosted by the Sierra Club, and the speaker was a fungi expert who showed how the mushrooms we see on the surface were part of this often vast creature residing beneath and how its physical makeup so closely resembled the human brain’s neural synapse network. Blew me away. Then he speculated on their possible sentience. I’ve never looked at mushrooms the same way sense. Then I read your work. Now when I encounter them I ask “Anything to pass on today?” So far no contact. I think. Thanks for sharing.

  3. Jeff VanderMeer says:

    Marty:

    I mean no disrespect, but the spores have been reporting back on your unusual habits, and I have to say that that thing you do on Friday nights can in no way be called “dancing”.

    Jeff

  4. Marty Stephenson says:

    Fine then. Shitakes are back in the diet. And I’m gonna mow that lawn.

  5. Jeff VanderMeer says:

    Ooh, I wouldn’t raise the stakes. Them fungi is everywheres.

  6. Marty Stephenson says:

    Okay. You’re right. But I’m still gonna do that thing on Fridays and call it “dancing.”

  7. Jeff VanderMeer says:

    Once the conversion occurs, you’ll have to call it “platypus”.

  8. Marty Stephenson says:

    rofl…Oh, mercy…

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