Ninja# a. SMOKE BOMB. NINJA VANISH.

You pat your pockets surreptitiously, locate your smoke pellets, and immediately hurl a handful on the ground. POOF! Smoke thick and noxious doesn’t so much as billow as bellow upward, quickly enveloping the entire street.

Hmm. Possibly that was overkill.

Oh well. At least you weren’t carrying the lavender-scented ones.

You turn, for the umpteenth time, to the supermarket doors, only to have the stormtrooper security guard tap you on the shoulder.

“You know these helmets can see in more than one spectrum, right? What did you go and do that for? Now the fire alarms are going to go off-”

You spin and execute a lightning fast jab to the throat, which is protected only by some thin foam. The stormtrooper chokes, drops, and something in his armour shorts out. He convulses violently in the sparking circuitry before something else pops and hisses and then all is still.

Yikes. Definitely over kill. You examine your fingers, but they don’t look like they’ve grown special electrocution powers in the last minute. Oh well.

Finally, at last, you enter the supermarket, and stealthily slink through the produce section to the back of the store, where the freezer section lies. The milk cabinets are full, and glorious, and there is one carton of Uncle Retsudo’s preferred brand of milk hidden on a low shelf. The end is in sight!

You sneak up to the cabinet, reach for the door and-

-there is a pirate.

And this pirate is going for your milk.


a. SMOKE BOMB. NINJA (& MILK) VANISH.

b. Excuse me, that’s my milk, I was here first, and the HONOUR OF MY CLAN and my toes ARE AT STAKE.

c. QUICK DRAW SHURIKEN.

8 comments on “Ninja# a. SMOKE BOMB. NINJA VANISH.

  1. C already!

    …I know how this will end, almost as if I’ve experienced it all before, maybe in a past life…

  2. C) Shurikens can be thrown in the same motion they are drawn. Pistols have to be drawn, then aimed. Advantage? NINJA!

  3. C, and I don’t think it was overkill at all.

  4. Ninja, please redirect the pirate to the aisle of rum.

  5. Aanimal says:

    b). I’ve never known a pirate not to listen to reason.

  6. KJ Bishop says:

    a). Smoke bombs are such fun.

  7. ArthurMiller@OUSalesperson says:

    The milk cabinet is full and glorious and yet there is only ONE of uncle’s preferred brand!!! If only Arrr! was an option. Currently the pirate’s gonna shoot so I think reason is a mistake at the moment. Hmm…

    As its quicker to nail the pirate with the shuriken than it is to grab the milk and drop the bomb I’m going with C.

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