I Take It All Back

The Meyer book turns out to have been sent by a pranksome VanderMeer, which I would have realized had I looked at the inscription on the title page:

For Cat Rambo –
Maybe some day you will learn not to be a HATER. Until then, SUCK EGGS you pathetic monkey-headed loser!
Stephanie Meyer
P.S. Rot in hell, hellspawn!!!

As it turns out, Jeff has, in addition to doing the Predator novel, been writing the Meyer books in an attempt to expunge the demons of his Mormon background. And he wears funny shoes. You’ll get yours, VanderMeer.

11 comments on “I Take It All Back

  1. Kater says:

    I heard somewhere there’s a company that will sneakily plant thousands of plastic flamingos on your target’s lawn at night. Maybe they do penguins too. Just saying…

  2. Zephid Bebex says:

    Do you really have a monkey-head?

  3. Cat Rambo says:

    Yes, but I usually keep it in the closet.

  4. Larry says:

    I’m guessing that a stuffed meerkat will be sent in the mail, with the head decapitated?

  5. Cat Rambo says:

    All of the stuffed meerkats on Amazon are plush toys. I need to find a taxidermist with a spare one they’re willing to part with.

  6. Larry says:

    That might be tough to find. Perhaps just buy a pattern and have one sewn sans head?

  7. One word: Cockroaches.

  8. Well, Christmas is coming. Perhaps he’ll get a visit from Dapper D, The Christmas Skeleton!

  9. Larry says:

    You mean like this, Matt?

  10. Jessie says:

    You’ve imprsseed us all with that posting!

Comments are closed.