Top Five Things You Never Want to Hear from Your Writing Instructor
Jeff VanderMeer • May 28th, 2008 @ 7:12 am • Writing Tips
(5) “I thought writing ‘Exterminate all the brutes’ in the margins of your manuscript was cute. You didn’t?”
(4) “I’ve just undergone a religious conversion that has real relevance to your manuscript.”
(3) “My apologies for all the drinking this morning, but I have read your fucking manuscript, so no goddamn worries, huh, kid?”
(2) “You need to be more original. This is the third novella disguised as a scientific monograph about squid that I’ve read this week.”
(1) “Precious bodily fluids. You must preserve them in these jars. These jars and no others. If you wish to progress as a writer. These jars. Those fluids.”
May 28, 2008 at 8:20 am
I don’t know. #1 had its merits.
May 28, 2008 at 8:36 am
“This is the finest work of literature I’ve encountered in my life. I’m going to marshal my full influence to make sure sure it is read by New Yorks finest agents and edit….aCKhh….mY hEarT!”
May 28, 2008 at 10:10 am
Pardon my naivety, but shouldn’t number 2 usually be followed by “I’ll buy it!”?
May 28, 2008 at 4:11 pm
“I’m sorry, but Mennonites have no talent.”
May 28, 2008 at 7:47 pm
“I noticed you only had two ninjas in the first fifty pages. Everybody knows that any salable manuscript has at least seven.”
May 28, 2008 at 11:27 pm
You make me so glad I’m a singer, not a writer.
May 29, 2008 at 3:23 am
Vowels are for the weak.