My New Definition of Patience…

Jeff VanderMeer • May 20th, 2008 @ 3:12 pm • Uncategorized

…involves discovering a medium-sized cockroach had infiltrated my shoe while lifting 800 pounds on the leg press. My natural reaction, having a phobia about such bugs would’ve been to immediately start dancing around screaming. My brain, however, told me it would be much more useful to my continued existence to slowly lower said weight, put the locks back in place, and then limp over to the bathroom–there to conduct said dancing and screaming in the privacy of my own locked stall. I don’t know how the roach got there, except we have had a lot of rain of late…

7 Responses to “My New Definition of Patience…”

  1. Angela says:

    Ack. I really don’t know if I could have had that kind of will power. I’m glad you do and didn’t hurt yourself.

    This story makes me squirmy for you.

  2. Larry says:

    I think I’m even more impressed with the 800 lbs. being lifted than with the roach removal dance. Is the machine one where you lie flat on your back and lift from a 45º angle with free weights, or is it entirely machine-based system of pulleys?

  3. Jeff VanderMeer says:

    It’s weight plates shoved onto two ends of a bar melded with the machine, and you’re at kind of an angle, not flat on your back.

  4. Larry says:

    Ah, I’ve used that one before as well. 800 is really good, even if the roach surprise wasn’t.

  5. Anne S says:

    Here in OZ cockroaches generally only invade houses if there hasn’t been any rain – they crave moisture and darkness. For a while there, during the drought, we had roaches falling out of everything, like you’d open a door and roach would fall out, you’d take the cover off the barbeque and roaches would scuttle away from the light.

    The biggest roaches I’ve seen were in the Solomon Islands where we could hear them scuttling between our camp beds most nights.

    I don’t mind them myself.

  6. Matt Staggs says:

    Knowing what I know about you, I’m surprised that you’re not blogging this from a hospital bed somewhere.

  7. Gio Clairval says:

    So strong, so brave.

    Insidious Coleoptera but when you look at them from the right angle they’re kind of shiny scarabs very beautiful it would be nice to exterminate them scuttling but not ugly in their coleopteran way death death the horror squash ‘em flat squash yuk

    Roaches do nothing to me.

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