Scott Sigler…Is…in…My…House

Twenty minutes after Scott Sigler responded to this post, he is actually now, in my house, beating up my family and stealing my stuff. If I didn’t have so many deadlines I’d try to stop him.

You’ll recall this photo is with his press materials:

Well, I must admit, in the interests of fairness, that the author photo on his blog is much different (reproduced below):


  1. says

    Of course, if that hamster was an author, and he or she could write, it’d probably be something along the lines of… “poop. poop. poop. nibble. poop. nibble. scratch.”

  2. says

    If either of you gentlemen care to wrestle a hamster on video, I will happily show said video on this blog. In fact, I will pay for the privilege. Because, kind sirs, I DO NOT BELIEVE YOU CAN TAKE THE HAMSTER.

  3. says

    I swore never to allow my hamster wrestling to be recorded after the last time. Actually, I retired my whole hamster wrestling league. I got tired of sewing the tiny little wrestler masks.

  4. says

    Wait, is it just me or is that hamster supping on blood from that fingertip?

    I ain’t messin with no vampire hamsters. Or maybe I will. Otherwise, I imagine they may infiltrate second grade classrooms everywhere. Won’t someone think of the children?

  5. says

    When I’m in my home-built steam-powered mech, about twenty feet tall. Which you would assume would give me some advantage over those little rodent luchas. They hide steroids in their cheek pouches I tell ya, those crepuscular bastards!

  6. says

    mail me this hamster, Jeff

    pack it comfortably in soft foam peanuts and give it plenty of airholes, so that it is well-rested and ready to fight on arrival

    i will still defeat it

    i do not fear this hamster

  7. says

    i fear the morale of a mailed hamster might be sufficiently low, felix, that you would have an unfair advantage.

    grant–would you allow a mailed or unmailed hamster the comfort of a mech suit, or would that give it an unfair advantage over you (assuming you were also wearing your mech suit?).


  8. William says

    Um, retards. Hamsters don’t wrestle with humans or suckle their blood. Ludicrous. Impossible.

    Besides, that’s not even a hamster. It’s a magenta-speckled pixie.

  9. says

    I don’t think it would be a good idea to enhance a hamster, mailed or no, with an exoskeleton and automatic weaponry. They do enough damage just in the tights. Hm. That last sentence caused me to completely lose my train of thought.

  10. says

    Larry–it’s all toilet water and rodents for my blog readers. Give ’em cats or photos of grandchildren, they’re mum. Put up a photo of a demented splotch of fur attacking a finger, they’re all over it.

    Felix–I will send the hamster overland on scented divan carried by six strapping men. It shall arrive refreshed and ready for battle.


  11. says

    Beware: the hamster could be “mailed” – chain mail….plate mail….scale mail.
    I judge the hamster to have an Armor Class of -2.

  12. says

    The solution is simple, Jeff – you have a picture of your grandson with a rabid hamster about to attack the pirate kitty, who is trying to drink toilet water. That way, all of your bases are covered.

  13. says

    That is my best picture yet. You’ll be laughing out of the other side of your ass when you get bit on the finger, there is a drop of blood, and then you realize I broke into your house and stole all your Snoopy Band-Aids. Enjoy bleeding to death one drop at a time, you bastard …

  14. says

    Oh–and Scott’s book is at #1,563 on Amazon right now. Mine is at #24,402. So, proves my point. This ain’t golf, folks. It’s all about scoring points–the higher the number, the more points you have. So I have over 22,000 points more than Scott right now. Bwaahaha, er, waaaaaaaa!

  15. says

    If there’s going to be an atomic smackdown, feel free to borrow my steam-powered exoskeleton. Might need drycleaning first but it should work OK. Long as he doesn’t let loose a hamster army or something.

  16. says

    I’m fairly sure he doesn’t have a hamster army, although he might have a biker army.

    LOL! Grant! You have a sense of the history of genre–bless you.

    Felix–that that hamster is a’coming. Overland. On scented divan. It ain’t comin’ quick. It’s comin’ slooow. When it finally get there, it’s gonna kick yer privileged ass.


  17. Jenny says

    Cute Hammy. Makes me warm and fuzzy on the inside. Eets adworabwel wittle pwink twounge!!!