Incoming! March 17th Books (with cat)

Here’s today’s haul. You’ll note I’ve been Infected by Scott Sigler, identified in his bio note as having occupied “the number one audiobook position on all podcast aggregators, including iTunes.” I think that means he’s a Terminator, but I’m not sure.

The press materials keep coming on strong, with statements from the author like “I think that hard science puts a fantastic framework on a horror story…also precludes me from whipping up some supernatural solution out of nowhere: no magic bullets, no sudden discovery your character can teleport, no guardian angel…I can’t get lazy and write myself out of a corner.” So…you just stay in the corner? Like Blair Witch.

The author photo makes me really hate this guy. I get the feeling he’s actually about five-two and wears thick-rimmed glasses. But in the photo he looks like he’s gonna come in the window and beat the living shit out of me and my family, steal our stuff, and piss on the welcome mat:

I blame Scalzi and Mieville for this cross-arm, dumb-ass t-shirt look. Of course, I wasn’t really fond of this effete dickhead, either:

And I’m sure I’m crossing my arms in this photo:

Regardless, I have this odd feeling that this book is the antidote to being Infected, and that the author, not pictured, is probably a six-four lumberjack with anger issues.


  1. says

    I’m now wondering if a toilet water-guzzling hamster, full of Hamster Fu, is going to make its furry way into a future short story or novel. Maybe it too can demonstrate how best to piss on the welcome mat while looking badass?

  2. says

    As someone who has read Infected and is listening to Earthcore (slowly because I am so scared after reading Infected), AND having Scott on my Twitter, it is hard to be scared of someone who walks his dogs so often, but I would still rather have him on my side in a writing war, because he does some SCARY shit to his characters.

  3. says


    As far as I know, the only legal method of Hamster delivery to New Zealand is fired out of a cannon.

    Oh how I wish I could show you a story I’ve been working on since January. It’s not hamsters, but there are some bad rodents in it. They do stuff like this:

    More mice passed him on the ramp, at least twenty, carrying a collection of wires. Several carried a large metal box between them, a hand-crank on its side. They circled (redacted), who watched with curiosity while a nimble-pawed pair checked connections. Then one turned the hand-crank and (redacted) _screamed_. Then silence. Where (redacted) had been was now empty sand. The mice began disassembling the circuit.

  4. says

    Now I know for certain that the opinions of Mr. VanderSmeer and Matt Fallace are important because they LISTEN. They listen to what is being said and give out only the purest of unbiased opinions.

    “told ya’ to be prepared for a junkie invasion”- Well said ! Must have missed that one.

    “come in the window and beat the living shit out of me and my family, steal our stuff, and piss on the welcome mat” …please?….ok on our way! :)

    ( view represented here are not directly affiliated with you should probably just go to and see what all this crap is about at you will most likely enjoy it , “it” being the stories of S C O T T S I G L E R @


  5. says

    OK, now that is a bit freaky to imagine, Grant. Almost as bad as this gal I know who’s threatened me before with rabid vampiric squirrels that would flay me alive with their teeth. There must be something about SF writers and art school students that involves such graphic depictions of the depredations of members of the family Rodentia.

  6. says

    It’s not just the sf writers. At work this week someone came out with the concept of Vampirates. This is the same group of people who invented double zombies a few years back and I’m still scared of them.

    On the other hand, I’m no longer afraid of regular single zombies…

  7. says

    Hamsters to NZ via cannon, mm?

    Being of a steampunkish sort of mind, I’d probably opt for capybaras via trebuchet and jetpack, but needs must.

    Grant: I want to read that story. Very, very badly, oh yes I do. I may have to nick the vampirate concept, too, purely for crack purposes, although to be fair, WoD sort of had their greasy fingers on it first. Lasombra, and all that.

    And thus I inadvertently reveal my origins as gamer, and hide my face in shame.

  8. says


    Yeah, to import hamsters to NZ it’s got to be a cannon. I think I saw that on TV.

    Glad you like the extract. It’s still a work in progress, but I’ll mention it on my blog when it’s done and found a home.

    I think the world needs way more vampirates, especially if they’re locked in endless combat with double zombies. Or staging Rogers and Hammerstein musicals.

    Be proud of your gamer-ness! I used to play Champions back in the day, mainly so I got to roll 25d6 whenever I punched someone….

  9. Mae says

    Jeff~ Good. You should be scared… I looks Sweet and angelic, come off as very warm and friendly, with the style, curves and fashion sense of a certain little girls’ doll, BUT- should you get on my bad side by insulting my beloved boss and Master… you will see why the other girls call me BONEBREAKER BARBIE! :-D But, of course, you can feel free to be in awe of and worship me all you want! ;-)

  10. treed says

    what i want to know is, how many of vandersmears regular subscriber’s/reader/mindless minions (oprahell reference) have gone to see siglers site and looked up infected on google/amazon/yahoo/whatever since all this got started??
    just out of cutiousity, and did ya get an idea of what we damned dirty junkies find so intoxicating??

    anyways, life’s a bitch, then you die

  11. Tony "BigTC" says

    Not only is Scott Sigler an amazingly talented writer, but it is a welcomed interruption in the daily dose of canned writers with nothing more to say or add than the previous canned writer. Scott’s underlying ability is to graphically plant the scene in your minds eye to then totally scare the living bejesus out of you (ref: the Mommy scene).

    More importantly, unlike your normal canned authors, Scott’s other ability is to use the new social media playgrounds to help promote, unite, and inform the public about his novels. He was a pioneer in this realm and it is great to see him getting the recognition he so deserves.

    Lastly, what I admire about Scott is that any email or Twitter I have sent to him, is responded too. This outreach makes him, in my mind, a person that is grounded and realizes that he is where he is because of his fans and we will help promote him.

    Thank you,

  12. says

    I dunno about R&H, Grant, but I might be able to play with the endless combat motif.

    What do you think; Extreme Twister until someone loses either too many body parts or too much blood to continue? Winner-take-all. We can have the hamsters officiate, what with their excellent birds’-eye view.

    I can see where a roll like that would make one a happy camper. Only time I managed to get dice up that high was a game filled with so many twinks that dishing up normal stats was suicide. They weren’t so much vampires at that point as minor deities without the adoring public.

    Treed: Haven’t yet. Probably will sometime soonish, when I have time to sit and read for longer than four and a half minutes at a stretch. Jeff, I dunno how you do it.

  13. says

    Aww man I apologize I absolutely lost my head there and forgot : My bad.

    Larry , Grant ,and Nadine are quite funny I love it !…

    but , there really are “double zombie rabid vampiric squirrels made from clockwork” I have seen them ! Some wear eye patches and hijack boats of cheese coming in from Switzerland !

    (Nothing wrong with being a gamer -table top or otherwise!!! Even if they say your too old.)

  14. says

    Jae, I demand pictures of these “double zombie rabid vampiric squirrels made from clockwork.” It’d be like porn for the gal I know that I mentioned above.

  15. says

    hehehe…I will see if I can , but they are fast and can mask themselves in the shape of frosted beer mugs and television remotes !

  16. says

    Steampunk, undead, shape-shifting rodents. Of DOOM.

    If Bram Stoker, Mary Shelley and Alan Moore got together and smoked a lot of crack, they might have come up with this concept. I’m not sure what that says about the rest of us.

  17. says

    I think it says that we are proof that edgy, imaginative fantasy/SF can be sold to fans who are even more inventive/demented than most of the authors writing today.

  18. ogreoregon says

    Jeff, Well, I have just one thing to say about Scott Sigler…Hide the Chicken Sissors! I mean it. Why, I feel like I’ve known Scott since he was just a little guy, he was such a dear….but lately there has been talk of … well, he hasn’t been ..normal. I’ve heard him say things about a “takeover” and refers to himself as “Overlord” and “Pope Siglericus XXX”. But for God’s sake, Hide the Chicken Sissors! A soiled welcome mat will be the least of your troubles.

  19. Ryan M says

    I’m a good friend of Scott’s (I knew him when he still had hair) and although he has a smaller frame, he’s got the tenacity of a rabid dog. A less known fact about Scott is that he was a wrestler in college (albeit in the 107 weight class). I’m a 6’2″, 210lb guy and we were joking around once and got into a wrestling match. Scott proceded to put me into the tightest guillotine choke hold I’d ever experienced and if he wouldn’t have shown mercy on me, I would probably still be in a coma to this day. Point of the story: Scott is one tough little bastard and his bad-ass picture on Infected is well justified. Rock on, Scott!

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *