Curse and Berate $*@*(*&(&!!
Jeff VanderMeer • February 7th, 2008 @ 3:11 pm • Culture
Just got what looks to be a @#%!!! book in the mail.
A rather convoluted one>:
“I wish it rained so much that the waters flooded heaven and the fish bit St. Peters bollocks, thinking they’re bread crumbs.”
And those Finns sure can curse:
“You are a cloud-chaser” (meaning drug-addict)
And the inexplicable and French:
“Go piss in my cello!”
February 7, 2008 at 3:25 pm
Oh, you wouldn’t DARE piss in my cello!
February 7, 2008 at 3:35 pm
Must be an omnibus edition. I have ones for German, Spanish, French, and Italian, but apparently those Finns sure can “cuss up a storm”…
February 7, 2008 at 7:28 pm
I would totally piss in your cello.
And then set fire to it.
February 7, 2008 at 7:32 pm
ha, are there any romanian curses there? that would have been handy while you were writing the predator book :)
February 7, 2008 at 9:05 pm
There ARE Romanian curses.
Tessa–when we visit, I am not going to touch any musical instruments on the premises.
JV
February 8, 2008 at 12:21 am
Ha!
I confess, I don’t have a cello. Only a violin.
So your aim better be good.
February 8, 2008 at 6:04 am
And what about portuguese curses (ou brazilian ones)? Are there any?
(when I lived in London, I dated a Finn girl – all I learned was cursewords. :-)
February 8, 2008 at 5:14 pm
There are some!!!
Jv
February 8, 2008 at 8:36 pm
@jeff: please, please, please, tell me at least a couple of those romanian ones! i’m so curious what they selected :)
@tessa: you know, the original french saying goes something like “pisser dans un violon”, if i remember correctly. and “violon” is violin, and not at all cello (which is “violoncelle”)… “pisser dans un violon” means “doing something completely useless”, by the way. in consequence, tessa, DO HIDE your violin when jeff’s around :)
February 8, 2008 at 9:43 pm
Horia:
Umflat
scuipat
nataflet!
denuntator
futui
Fututi!
Or something like that. Most of these, alas, are just the bad word for something in lots of different languages. But here’s one:
“F— your mother’s icon.”
There’s a weird Danish one, very succint and apparently diet-related: “Raisin-shitter!”
Jeff
February 8, 2008 at 11:13 pm
I most certainly will, Horia. Can’t have no furreign interloper doing useless things with my violin.
February 9, 2008 at 8:13 am
I’m not FURreign. Just want to make sure everybody knows that. Although, I did once do a reading in a bookstore where a woman in a giant hedgehog suit was also reading. When the manager took me in the back to sign some final books, the hedgehog suit woman was taking off her head. “That looks like fun,” I said. “Oh, you don’t know the half of it,” she replied with a smile. “You should try it–it’s very pleasurable.” I left shortly thereafter.
JV
February 9, 2008 at 6:39 pm
What? I scared everybody away? Sir Tessa can talk about pissing on violins, but I can’t mention a passing furry incident?
JV
February 10, 2008 at 12:47 am
‘s cause you put a full stop after ‘thereafter’ instead of continuing the sentence with “to purchase a meerkat suit”.
February 10, 2008 at 4:18 am
Well that, and I just realized that the book talks about cursing in 69 languages…err…yeah.